English Discussion Responds

Please respond meaningfully to 2 of my classmates’ posts. Each of them should be between 70-100 words.
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Please choose 2 of them and write why you are agree or disagree.
Classmate 1:
I think that the writer of Essay 1 did a fabulous job of both selecting and integrating quotations.
Each quote is clear, concise, and perfectly demonstrates the intended point. I really like that the
quotes all follow the unifying subject set forth by the thesis, a shift in attitude due to pressure.
Each quote demonstrates this. Every single quote demonstrates an instance when a key character
has succumbed to the pressures of the Stepford society.
I think that the choice of evidence for Essay 2 was really interesting. Unlike most direct
evidence, the chosen quotes weren’t descriptive of a scene so much as they represented Joanna’s
internal struggle. They were directly referencing her thoughts and feelings in her own words,
rather than through the narrator’s voice. I thought that this was a really compelling choice
because the thesis embodies Joanna’s struggle for independence and self-assertion. It was great
to be a reader and actually witness the thesis unfold in the quotations.
One of the things that I liked the most about Essay 1 was how cohesive it seems. It’s very
organized, and well thought out, but more than anything, it’s very obvious. The writer clearly
made a conscientious decision to repeat their keywords and phrases (i.e. independence, social
pressure, etc.) expressly throughout the piece. For example, the author uses the word “pressure”
in almost every topic sentence, as well as multiple times throughout the piece. This is something
that I often avoid. In my writing, I like to create key concepts and demonstrate them through as
many different synonyms as possible. I make this effort in an attempt to avoid being too
repetitive. However, as this essay demonstrates, it’s definitely possible to repeat important ideas
exactly without seeming repetitive. Rather, the repetition enhances the key ideas.
I thought that the subject of Essay 2 was a really bold choice. I’ve never read the book, but I
have seen the movie, and Joanna is certainly a very likable protagonist. I thought that this was a
really fresh approach to a clearly complex character. It’s a subject that could potentially be
glanced over. What I most like about this essay is that conclusion. The author was very clever
in creating a conclusion that turned both the book and the essay into a fable-like lesson. The
final lines of the essay provide a lovely summation of the author’s intention, and leave the reader
with great food for thought: “One should not base one’s actions or decisions on anyone else.
Instead, one should be who one is and do what one chooses no matter what” (par. 5). I’ve
always struggle with writing conclusions, so if I find myself in a tight spot again, I’ll be sure to
look back at this essay for an example of a good one!
Classmate 2:
I notice that the student who wrote the first essay used a good amount of textual evidence. It was
just enough without making the essay full of quotations from the book. I like how they were able
to incorporate three different perspectives and make it relate back to their thesis. By using the
situations of three different couples helped show that this was a consistent and major theme in
the story. I really like the theme of the second essay; conformity. The student did a great job of
giving the theme a bit of a twist. I like how each passage they used was able to connect to the
idea that even though one may not be conforming to society, they may be changing from who
they really are.
2. I loved how easy the first essay was to understand. It didn’t have anything complicated about
it. The phrasing and vocabulary was perfect and did not sound repetitive. I really admire how
they wrote and incorporated their thesis. While reading the essay for the first time, it wasn’t
obvious where in her intro paragraph the thesis statement was. I find this to be a clever way to
state it because it flows with the rest of the essay. I liked how as you keep reading, it becomes
easier to understand what the story is about. I also enjoyed how the author’s writing made me
want to read the book and find out more about it; It held my attention and kept me interested. In
the second essay I really like how they inserted their quotations. When the quotation from the
book was a longer passage they gave it their own paragraph within the body paragraph, which
helps separate it from the thoughts of the paragraph and allows it to be easier to read.
Classmate 3:
) Essay #1: What I notice right away in this essay is just how short the textual evidence quotes
are. What the student accomplishes as a result is having the room to explain each quote as
thoroughly as possible. However, this can also be a bad sign, because the student can also take
such short quotes out of their context for their own benefit (thesis). The key word I see being
used the most is ‘pressure’, which fits the thesis very well. Other than that, all the topic sentences
are clear to find and understand.
Essay #2: Unlike the previous essay, the textual evidence being used here is much longer, and as
a result it offers more in depth look into the meaning behind such paraphrases. The keyword I
see being used the most is ‘conforming’ (quite a lot of different forms of it), which again, relates
to the overall thesis quite nicely. I also like the neatness of this essay; the paragraphs seem to be
the same length and easy to follow through.
2) Essay #1: Although I did complain about the simplicity of the textual evidence being
presented in this essay, it does present the writer with the opportunity to express his/her thoughts
more thoroughly, which is something that I struggle to do with short 3 page essays (although our
essay #3 can be 4 pages long). I will try using some very short textual evidence within my
paragraphs to express my thoughts better.
Essay #2: What I like the most in this essay is the fact that the topic sentences start each
paragraph. So I know right away what the topic is, and the textual analysis that comes after
makes me think about it even before the writer analyzes it him/herself. It is something that I
should also think about when I begin each paragraph; therefore I will try and follow this writer’s
essay organization pattern for my next essays.

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