extend my essay from 5 pages to 7 pages

I have written 5 pages of my essay for the first draft. My final draft requires me to write 7 pages. Therefore, please help me write two more pages.At the same time, please help me correct some grammer errors, plz.I also need one more journal source.My final draft is due tomorrow evening.

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Yanlin Chen
Professor Horn
College Writing Seminar
10 November 2017
Benefits of Rap Music
” Look, I was gonna go easy on you and not to hurt your feelings, but I’m only going to get this
one chance something’s wrong” (Eminem) These lyrics are from the song, Rap God. It is my first
time to hear this new style of music performance in China. Moreover, I have never been so
engaged in this type of music that I listened to all of the Eminem’s rap songs at that time. When I
came to the United States, I started to recognize America is an absolute hip-hop nation. Rap
music has become one of the mainstream music and cultures in the American society over the
past 20 years. At the same time, the rap music is always listed top ten on the Billboard whenever
the time is. Uber driver always will play the rap music in the car when I take Uber every time.
Therefore, there is the doubt that rap music is one of most popular music types in the United
States. However, rap music has ever been placed in the negative and controversial area because
the lyrics in the rap music contained some contents with sex, drugs, and violence. In my opinion,
the reason why people have the bias in reactions to rap music is that people only detected the
surface of the rap music and ignored the depth of the rap music. The rap music not only is a type
of music but also is also a mirror of the black community in America. Therefore, the rap music
could have some benefits on education, mental health, and social awareness to push the society
to keep moving forward.
Benefits on Education
There are some benefits of rap music in the Education field. More specifically, rhyme in the rap
music is a tool that constructed the knowledge together in the education, and it is also easier for
the student to memorize. According to the article, named Rap Music on Education: A
preliminary, the author made the experiment to test whether or not the rap music is a usefully
educational tool to be used in the class. The research is designed as a course activity. The author
interviewed participants for their thoughts and their own opinion about the course activity. After
ended, the comment of participants is “…Event was very nice, I learned in an entertaining way.”,
“…The event was very nice, I learned in an entertaining way … The semiquavers were clapped
like that right?” and “We did something different, and it’s cool. Bringing forth new Rap lyrics
makes me feel good.” (Salim 147) In my opinion, these comments from students are classified
as enjoyable and beneficial because rap music is a more interesting scientifically educational
method to promote the students’ study efficiency than the traditional education method. At the
same time, the other important part of rap music is that the lyrics of rap music is so rhymed
words that will enhance students’ memory for some hard knowledge. On the other hand, the rap
music is not only an educational tool in the school but also is a socialized tool to build some new
conversations with your friends. Through the research of the experiment, ninety percentages of
students were found to be rap listeners, and more than half of the participants stated that they
socialized through rap music at schools. (Salim 149) Therefore, rap music played a very
important role in students’ life. Further, I thought music is a tool that can reach people’s mind and
intrinsic feeling to make friends with the same minds. Rap music is also a platform for people to
exchange their echo of pleasures and emotions each other, which enriches students’ life and also
will help students relieve some study stresses. In the meanwhile, the rap music is a channel for
people to speak freely and explain their attitude of the reality.
Mental health
Everything will be better when the rosy ball springs out of the sea. Rap is a rosy ball to delight
poverty people’s life every day. According to the article, Impacts of Rap Music on Youths, the
author mentioned that ” many rappers rap about poverty and their struggles in inner-city America
while growing up. Once they achieve success, they talk about overcoming obstacles and rising to
the top”. (Positive Impact of Rap Music) The lyrics of the rap music that the rapper wrote can
provide chicken soup for the soul because the youth will judge rapper’s feelings by the lyrics, and
the youth will compare themselves life to the rapper’s life. Moreover, youths can understand and
realize the success is not far from now. For example, I am an international student to study at the
American University, and there are many language obstacles in every class. Especially studying
in the Justice and Law, I was not familiar with American politics and American justice system.
However, I am also very interested in the Law because I want to be a public lawyer to defend for
poor people to maintain fair in the future. Therefore, When I felt sick in the studying, I always
listened to some rap music to encourage myself to keep moving and keep telling myself my
career goal in the future. One of the best songs that encouraged is named I Know I Can. In the
first verse of this song, the lyrics were written that “Boys and girls, listen up. You can be
anything in the world, in God we trust an architect, doctor, maybe an actress. But Nothing comes
easy, it takes much practice”. (Remi) The most important that inspired me from these sentences
is if I want to be something, I have to work hard and spend much time on focusing on one thing
that I am interested such as being a public defender in the future. Life is a struggle with your
unbelievable career goal. Nobody will be instead of working anything for you. I always think
how much time I spent and how much achievement that I earned. Therefore, I thought rap music
is a mental medicine in my mind to relieve my pain and to give me hope every time.
Social Awareness
Rap music brought people social awareness to criticize the social problems. Under the grandiose
sound of rap music such as electronic music, many artists used their talents to create a picture of
the reality of American society. This kind of style will be easier for youths to accept and
understand what the society happened. At the same time, the core of rap music is aimed to spread
the love and peace to all the world people. The rapper hopes people will make some positive
changes after hearing the rap music. On the one hand, even though some of the lyrics in the rap
music includes some violent and unhealthy words, it is an attitude for rappers to explain the
anger of the negative aspects of life. ” While such lyrics were perhaps partially intended to shock
consumers, they also brought awareness to the country’s social problems, particularly those in the
inner city” (Positive Impact of Rap Music) Some of the social problems such as drug addictions,
poverty, homeless people, and violence are existing in the society. However, the government
cannot avoid solving these issues. Furthermore, the rap music is a communication bridge
between poverty and the government. The government will better to understand the intrinsic
voice of poverty community. On the other hand, the rap music tended to bring people together
and peace. ” one of the great example of a rap song that sends this message is entitled ” Self
Destruction” and performed by the East Coast All Stars.” (Impact of Rap Music on Youth) After
hearing the ” self-Destruction,” I am more understandable about the unity meaning. Rap music is
resulting in making people more unity. Moreover, after hearing this song, the audiences will
recognize the importance of the unity and diversity in this country. This song also aroused
American citizens who have different color skins in the American society should be united
together. Less discrimination will be safer.
Obviously, rap music has a lot of advantages on the education, mental health, and social
awareness. Rap music should not be discriminated as bias and should be respected. Rap music is
not only a music type but also a culture that should be protected. I hope in the future people will
pay more and more attention to the insight of the lyrics in the rap music. Violence does not stand
for activating the bad actions and does stand to fight against the crucial reality and unfairness.
Mathers III, Marshall Bruce. “Rap God.” 15 Oct. 2013.
“positive Impacts.” Impacts of rap music on youths.
Remi, Salaam. “I Can.” God’s Song, 11 Feb. 2003.
Sever, S. (2016). Rap Music on Education: A Preliminary Study. Journal of Education and
Future, (9), 139-153. Retrieved from http://proxyau.wrlc.org/login?url=https://search-proquestcom.proxyau.wrlc.org/docview/1786778500?accountid=8285.

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