Discussion follow up post, please find the attached file for detail question5 to 6 sentences per post will be acceptable
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My Initial Post
There is a gap between my some issues and the solutions the paper provides. In some instance,
the article has given an analysis but fails to provide a solution at the same moment, e.g.,
greenhouse emission gases have been shown to contribute to environmental degradation and
global warming. The paper may, therefore, fail to convince readers in that particular point. The
government and vehicle manufacturing company must ensure that they put forward policies that
enable people to acquire the vehicles at an affordable price. This area needs improvement so that
the readers may understand the measures through which carbon dioxide emission will be
reduced. My outside source is well selected and used. They provide information that backs the
arguments within the paper. The quotation marks and in-text citation are all well used. The
paraphrases and discussions are well constructed.
I must state with much clarity that the paper had addressed the problem and reached the
audience. The thesis statement gives the problem at hand and the solution in a glimpse. Global
warming is a menace in the 21st century, having the issue under discussion attracts the audience.
My essay structure which explains problems and provides solution makes it simple for the
audience to read and understand it. As I move forward to other courses, I will use the knowledge
I have gathered to expand my critical thinking. I will use the knowledge in communication:
research writing and discussion at the workplace. It will also help to convince people to join me
in my position of argument since I will be able to convince them.
1. Teacher Comment
Thank you for your post this week! Evaluating our work is one of the hardest things we do as
writers. What questions do you ask yourself during this process? How else do you double-check
your work before submission?
2. Colleague Post
Angela Brubaker (Colleague)
Knowing my weaknesses in writing I have a lot of comma splices and tend to be wordy in my
writing. I also tend to deflect in my writing. For example, I will think of examples that my
readers have a hard time relating to the topic. Furthermore, I really need to focus on a thesaurus.
Last but not least, figure out my own style of writing.
I have chosen a hard topic to defend, especially when social media is the future. My whole goal
is educate and how it affects younger generation and be cautious of the negative impact of
security breaches. I believe I provided a great balance of negative impacts to understand the
education proposal for the conclusion.
Moving forward I believe I will take the basic skills in my writing for statistical writing. In my
current position they utilize the APA format and I will continue to work on my grammar,
wordiness, and focusing on the subject. Writing takes practice and this current position that is all
we do. I hope to be better.
3. Colleague Post
Jennifer Marshall (Colleague)
My portfolio paper is coming along but there are still lots of area where I need to re-organize or
re-word some facts, etc. I am finding that there is so much information on my topic of Water
issues and Solutions in the U.S. and China that I am a little all over the place with my facts and
organization. I have the required amount of peer reviewed resources as well as a couple
government resources for some statistics and plans for possible future water issues. Some of the
feedback I have gotten throughout the semester have been things like narrowing down my thesis
to a specific problem with water issues and a specific solution or solutions, to look at
governmental websites for good statistics, as well as to stay focused. I used all of these pieces of
advice and am grateful for all the time and thoughts anyone put in.
I plan to read and re-read my draft to make sure everything makes sense and has the fluidity I
would like. I plan to take some breaks during my revisions to try and get as much of a fresh look
as I can. I tend to revise very soon after drafting and sometimes this causes me to miss errors and
sentences that do not make sense or are constructed poorly.
I did not get have any peer-reviews but I think that I might not have reached my audience exactly
since I never presented a clear and specific thesis. I am working on narrowing down this thesis as
right now I have too many topics I am trying to cover.
I know that writing and critical thinking are tools that I will use in all sorts of classes and parts of
my life. This class has made me aware of the areas I need to improve on and will help keep me
mindful while writing future pieces.
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